The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
