Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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