They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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