As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize