I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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