Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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