He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
