id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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