my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
