We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
