My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
