I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
