i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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