I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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