I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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