That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
