Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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