Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
If that was your dad, he is hot
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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