So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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