check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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