I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
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