So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
