Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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