im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
The chlamydia really affected his face.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
