I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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