I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
