I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
