So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
