He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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