we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
