five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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