Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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