i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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