This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
