woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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