just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Houston, we have a blender
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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