is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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