No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
