you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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