The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
