he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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