This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
