Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
