So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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