Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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