My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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