haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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