Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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