How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
