Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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