i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Terrible idea I love it
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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