does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
