You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
