I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Jerry, you need to find god
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
