I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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