I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
You left your phone here
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