States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
