12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
