I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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