I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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