I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
