a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
