i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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