Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
pray to the hookup gods
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
